This is a blog I wrote last night, which I spent ages writing, pressed the publish button, then I lost it all, by which time it was getting late, and didnt fancy the prospect of typing it all out again.
So here is the new improved version.
2010, has been a very stressful year, not just for myself, but several of my former colleagues, some friends and family. It has been one of the sorts of years where one thing has come after the other.
The year started off with a investigation in to my Former employer, this created lots of worry not only for myself, but most of my other colleagues, we were at the time a fairly close knit team, I actually regarded them as part of my extended family, but alas as the year progressed the more the worry was there at the back of our minds.
So the investigation destroyed that team, as the investigators turned everyone against the employer, and upon each other, not directly though. It was a case of divide and conquer on there part. Now in my opinion we were used like pawns in a chess match. As the months progressed the work place lots the atmosphere, I lost confidence in myself. It is a sad state of affairs when that happens.
All I can say is the whole affair cost me a relationship and several friendships, the damage has been done, and all I can do is work hard to heal the wounds and make 2011 a better year for all of us
I can remember just before the schools broke up back in July, driving that last school run, and thinking that this would be the last day I work with some of these people, some of whom I had worked with for the last 8 years. I was looking at the situation and thinking I need a change of direction, so in August I left.
I can remember standing in the yard after parking up my coach on my very last day, the night was a cool late august night, and I stood there look in to the sky, and it was still, for a brief second the noise of passers by and the traffic outside seemed to vanish, I was having a couple of flashbacks, as everywhere I turned in that yard brought a memory to my mind. Yes I will admitt that I was quite emotional, but I knew I had to make the move, start the next chapter in my life. After every end comes a new begining.
So I think about what I want out of life, and there is so much I want to do and see. The last year has put alot of things in to perspective, and I must not let the grass grow under my feet, the world is my oyster, or so they so. I am a unique person, who can make a valied contribution to society. I need to stop worrying about things, because life happens and things happen, it is a case of learning and improving everyday.
So on this note it is a case of watch this space, and I do know one thing, when I go I want to have lived a full life, we all have one life and we make our own personal Hell and heaven. We all go through tough times, when we think that we cant cope, but most of us get through it. It is part of building our own character.
One life, so lets live it, exorcise those demons, and most importantly of all lets exercise our freedom. anyway ttfn
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